Thursday, October 6, 2016

Been working hard writing...

Oh gawd I have been so stressed and emotional writing this new book. I was lulled into such a false sense of security about what a book-writing process is like after doing the first one - it was a doddle! It just flowed out of me like water.

The new one is not flowing out of me, it is dribbling. 

However it is dribbling steadily and I will get it done because not completing it is not an option.

But I have to be honest I'm a bit of a mess with stress hitting and tiredness and distractedness.. not great things to bring to my parenting/housewifely life. Mostly what I do (aside from yelling a bit more often at the kids, sorry kids!) is self-sabotage with bad foods. Such is my pattern. Very alcoholic pattern of consumption it is too (Quick! Reach for some external substance that will ease my tightened emotional state!)

Anyway, don't want to complain too much because my lot isn't a bad lot really and there is a lot more suffering in the world than me just being tired and stressed.

Luckily I am about to head away for a holiday with my extended family and this will also be a writing holiday and a CYBER HOLIDAY!! Yes! I am going internet free for 7 whole days which will be bloody good.

Am not feeling too worried about it. The new book can wait, emails can wait, my social media accounts will still be there when I get back, and the Living Sober community is in safe hands with a member appointed to keep an eye on things while I'm away.

I'm feeling good about my alcohol-free status on holiday. I know everyone else will be drinking in the evenings because that's what most people in the world do (in my world anyway). But I'm ok with that. I'll just hold to my truth which is that I'm infinitely more happier, calmer, more present, more authentic, prouder, healthier, more connected to my kids and family, and just generally a better version of myself without booze in my life.

In my previous life this holiday would have been all about alcohol because that was what I thought relaxing and celebrating was all about. Sober me is looking at this holiday as being about spending quality time with my mum and sisters and their families, building memories for my kids, watching them bond with their cousins, being away from the internet, having a change of scene, reading books, swimming, and relaxing.

There is nothing that alcohol could add to this holiday and so much that it could take away.

But not for me because I live sober, yay!!

Love, Mrs D xxx

4 comments:

  1. Love your tenacity about your #2 project. Wishing you have all the space and time you need for it. A couple months from now, I'm starting to tackle a project in the same way (I hope)

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  2. I too eat alcoholically but the catching myself at it is getting better. Maybe this book is meant to dribble out of you because that initial gush was out in the first book. Plus you have continued the process here on the blog since then. Slow and steady is sometimes the best way. I ENVY you massively that time away with family free to just be you. I hope it is wonderfully refreshing for you.

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  3. I am glad you get some time away, and I love how you see sobriety!!
    xo
    Wendy

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  4. I'm going to print out the last two paragraphs and read it over and over before I go on holiday! I especially love this line

    "There is nothing that alcohol could add to this holiday and so much that it could take away."

    This is so incredibly true! It could take away your presence and memories!

    Thank you for this post. xx

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