I used to wake up in the morning at 3am with a dry mouth, pounding head, sick guts, and an intense feeling of guilt. Why did I drink too much last night yet again? Why am I such a weak and pathetic piece of shit?
A couple of hours later I'd drag myself out of bed to start the day. The first things to hit my stomach would be a couple of pain killers and a big mug of milky instant coffee.
I'd struggle through the morning feeling like shit physically and emotionally (until I rehydrated, started convincing myself I didn't have a problem and worked towards drinking again the next evening).
Nowadays, what a difference! Most days I wake between 6-7am and my first thought is usually "whoa, another eight hours uninterrupted sleep!". I get out of bed and start my day with no hangover or guilt. Currently the first things to hit my belly are a big glass of water with a cap of apple cider vinegar in it, followed by a mug of green tea.
I am not a saint by any means, there are things that I can still over-indulge in and mornings when I am feeling low or shitty. But for the most part my days start with a clear head, and a happy heart.
So great to be able to get the days off to a good start because bloody hell life can be hard sometimes. Things hurt and are tricky and it's no wonder adults get ground down by all of the stuff that we have to deal with year after year. Oh to be a kid again with no sense of relentless pain and suffering.
But let this not be a post about doom and gloom! Let this be a post about glorious hangover free sober mornings, hearts that beat and lungs that fill with air. Let this be a post about gratitude for small glorious things like scented candles and dogs who love wholly and unconditionally and fridges that keep food cold and music that lifts the heart.
Let this be a post about bravery and honesty and digging deep to be the best you can be. And community and love and love and love.
Let this be a post about love.
Love, Mrs D xxx