I shudder to think what my life might be like today if I was still drinking. SHUDDER!
I'd likely still be that disconnected, fuzzy-headed, numb woman that I was .. although 5+ years older, thicker around the middle and dumber in the head.
Ugh I shudder to think about a life where I'm still having boozy nights filled with faux exuberance and slurry togetherness.
I know lost of people still do that and enjoy it and good on them but for me I just sooooooo appreciate authentic get-togethers and genuine emotions. I love feeling everything in the raw - yes even the bad stuff (although it hurts like hell sometimes). I love that I can always count on myself to be available in any scenario to my full capacity. I love that little memorable cracks of light come through every event - even the ones that are slightly tricky on the surface (see my last post for a perfect example of that).
Since I've gotten sober I've achieved so much! And I have grown so much as a person. Unbelievable amounts of growth and achievements. I don't think anyone can help but grow and achieve things and sort things out when they quit drinking. You just do because you can never avoid anything.. even if it happens really slowly, change does happen.
I watch many, many people get sober now through the blogosphere and the Living Sober community.. and NEVER have I seen someone in long term recovery (like after a year or so) say their life is getting worse. NEVER.
Only good things come from giving up drinking. Only good things. Because we are forced, slowly and sometimes with great resistance, to change that which is not fulfilling and good. We are forced to address pesky issues that when boozing we probably left to simmer and drag us down. It is uncomfortable and annoying and depressing at times but slowly sober people just SORT SHIT OUT.
There are no downsides. NONE!
I love, love, love living sober and I love, love ,love hanging around a tribe of people who are digging deep to become the best versions of themselves that they can be.
I am typing this with a bored outlook because the school holidays are dragging on, a slightly depressed feeling about my lack of exercise and over-eating habit that needs to be addressed, a bloody sore neck that kept me awake last night, and yet I am still feeling utterly delighted to be living a life that is raw, real, and recovered. Yes!!!
Sober is good.
Love, Mrs D xxx