Someone commented on my last post saying this Easter will be their first sober Easter for 20 years and did I have any "quirky & vibrant tips to have a luxurious A-free Easter?"
Well I'm not sure if they're quirky and vibrant but I do have some tips.
I've written about my Easters before (here and here and here) because it's always been a bit of a sober challenge for me as we go to stay with extended family in a remote location and everyone else drinks daily and I now don't.
It's interesting how my Easters have developed since I got sober. At times I've felt very out of place and conspicuously sober, at times I've felt very clever, special and unique, at times I've felt very judgey and uptight about other people's habits ... but nowadays I just feel ordinary and relaxed about my point of difference, unconcerned about what others are doing, and well practiced in how to take care of myself.
Firstly I keep very grounded in the big picture of my life, and not the immediate reality of these few days away. The big picture is that me and alcohol were not friends. Ours was not a casual relationship. Alcohol made feel like shit about myself, it got me sloppy and miserable and I am so, so, so, so much happier overall without it in my life. The immediate reality is just a few days where I am around boozers and might feel a little bored or awkward at times. I'm happy to take that for the knowledge that in the bigger picture of my life being sober is fabulous.
Secondly I'll go prepared. I always pack a small plastic container with some of my favourite teabags and multivitamins. Obviously this is to feel happy when I'm away (drinking my favourite tea and popping multivitamins always makes me feel good about myself) but also the act of preparing the container sends me a little message that I'm looking out for myself in the days ahead - being my own best friend. I'll also pack books and magazines, take time selecting my clothes, maybe paint my nails and pluck my eyebrows ... all little things to lift my mood and make me feel good about myself.
Thirdly I'll behave in self-soothing ways during the break. I'll go to bed early if I feel like it (and not worry what others will think). I'll try to make healthy food choices were possible (and not beat myself up about any Easter Egg consumption!). I'll indulge in bubble baths or long hot showers. I'll take mini-breaks during the day if I feel like it to go read a book or do some yoga or go for a walk - something nice and calm anyway.
Finally I'll remember to notice the little things that make my sober life so rewarding. I'll recognise every morning when I wake up hangover free and notice how good it feels. I'll close my eyes and breath deeply when soaking in a bubble bath to savour the moment. I'll appreciate every meaningful conversation I have with a relative or time spent hanging with my kids - my connections to other humans are so much richer now that I'm not numbing myself constantly.
So hopefully dear commenter these are some decent tips for you even though they might not be quirky and vibrant. Always remember what you are doing in removing alcohol from your life is brave and amazing and the world should be giving you a medal for your efforts!! And cast your mind forward to the days after Easter when you know that you will feel so happy and proud of yourself if you got through with out drinking. Go well!
Love, Mrs D xxx